


Breathe

by Stariceling



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Lemon, M/M, hotsprings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-02-29
Updated: 2004-02-29
Packaged: 2017-12-05 10:37:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/722100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stariceling/pseuds/Stariceling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miroku attempts to relax, until Inuyasha interrupts his meditations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Playing around with meditation centering from concentrating on breathing.

There is a feeling that sometimes comes with the night, as insubstantial as the taste of air. The mind clears, fear is swept away by the chilled stillness, and there is a feeling of something just beyond reach. Even if that something never comes, there is peace.

Miroku hadn’t felt it for a long time. Right now he just wanted to enjoy the peaceful night in solitude, especially when he couldn’t be sure how many more nights like this he would get. And what better place for relaxing then the very conveniently located hot spring that had prompted them to set up camp nearby in the first place? He had curled up on a narrow rock ledge, the only spot shallow enough to sit down without his head underwater.

Breathe in. The scent of the surrounding trees slipped into his lungs. Breathe out. Miroku could feel the tensions flowing out of his muscles and dissipating into the air. Breathe in. Miroku’s eyes slid closed. Breathe out. A cool breeze ruffled his hair, and he imagined his breath being swept along with it. Breathe in. There was someone else nearby, but he found no reason to worry.

Breathe out. Let words color the air, “Inuyasha.” It was only natural to acknowledge the other’s presence. Still, he could feel his introverted state slipping. Breathe. Remember to breathe.

“How long are you going to stay in there?” Inuyasha’s annoyance was clear, but Miroku remained unruffled.

“You are welcome to join me,” he replied after a long pause. Breathe in. Miroku thought he could detect Inuyasha’s scent, taste it in the air.

Inuyasha made a frustrated noise,.“Why would I want to do that?” Miroku’s curiosity pricked up. What was wrong with him?

“We’re both men here. I won’t stare.” Miroku was near ready to give up his meditation, but pretended to remain distant. Inuyasha had a way of intriguing him that he didn’t like to show.

“Fine,” Inuyasha sat down just behind Miroku, but made no move to remove his clothes, “I’ll keep you company.”

After a few more minutes of silence, when Inuyasha had settled down a bit, Miroku decided to venture his thoughts on why Inuyasha would want to be over by the hot springs so much.

“You’ve been fighting with Kagome again, haven’t you.”

Inuyasha made a noise that meant Miroku had hit a nerve, and had definitely guessed correctly, “She started it!” he argued.

“I’m sure she would say the same thing,” Miroku replied evenly. “You just don’t know how to handle women. If you apologize first, she’ll forget all about it.”

Inuyasha pouted. Miroku could feel it, and it made him want to smile. “Yeah you would know how to deal with women. Lecher.”

In spite of hearing the same sort of thing hundreds of times, it managed to hurt when Inuyasha said it like that. Miroku didn’t want to be dismissed so casually.

“I have my reasons. You know that.” He felt his tone change slightly. His peace had slipped away almost entirely.

Inuyasha shifted, laying down just outside of the spring. Miroku saw his ears prick up out of the corner of his eye. For someone who was so dense about Kagome’s feelings, he had been much too quick in detecting the change in Miroku’s mood.

“Does it make a difference?” A bit of the usual scorn had dropped from Inuyasha’s tone. He was asking him seriously?

Miroku was silent for several long minutes. There was no way to phrase this. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe Inuyasha would let him meditate in peace if he didn’t make any sense.

“There is a reason why nothing else can make a difference,” he spoke each word with a carefully measured feeling. Once he started to talk it suddenly seemed easy to keep going, as if the issue was weighted to slide out of him with just the slightest shift. The words suddenly seemed to be located just inside his lungs, so that he would need to pour them out in order to draw breath. “This is my obligation.” He forced himself to stop, holding his breath.

Inuyasha was curious now. “What obligation?”

“You know what I’m talking about.” Nothing more needed to be said. Breathe around the words. Breathe in.

“Just tell me already.”

“You’re not going to understand.” Breathe out. The tension refused to release him this time.

“Now you’re acting just like her. How am I supposed to know if you won’t just tell me?” Miroku was a bit startled at the sense in Inuyasha’s statement. “I really don’t think it’s going to make you forget if I apologize first.”

“It’s just something I have to carry on. I have to continue the family line until Naraku is dead. You know that already you idiot!” Miroku felt strange. It took him a moment to realize this was from Inuyasha leaning over him, his hair tickling Miroku’s shoulders.

“So all you’re saying is that it doesn’t matter if you want to be a pervert or not?”

“Yes.” Even though there were other parts of the issue that bothered him much more, he would settle for this if it satisfied Inuyasha’s curiosity.

“But you are a pervert.”

“If you like.” Miroku closed his eyes again. Breathe. Ignore him. It was hard to ignore the long hair tickling his bare back, but he put up a valiant fight.

“And that’s all?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t think so.”

Miroku tensed. He didn’t want to talk about this now. He had been enjoying himself before it was brought up. “If you’re practicing on me for making up with Kagome, I don’t appreciate it.”

“Well it’s not like I have anything to do other then bothering you.” Inuyasha moved back a little, and as much as it had frustrated him, Miroku mourned the loss of that feathery hair draped over him. “So what is it? You don’t want to spend all your time chasing girls?”

“Don’t read too much into it. It’s just that,” Miroku paused, leaning back until the top of his head touched Inuyasha. The tiny bit of contact made it seem as though it wouldn’t hurt to just say it, let it out into the air, “I’ve been thinking, isn’t it wrong to pass on this curse? It’s not just that they would have to grow up without their father. Can I really force my child to grow up under a curse like this?”

“And that’s it?”

“I bare my soul to you and that’s all you can say?”

“What am I supposed to do about it?” Miroku was ready to just explode. It had been a long time since someone had pushed him this far, and now he almost wanted to do something violent.

“You’re the one who had to keep pushing until I told you!” He turned to confront Inuyasha, whose eyes widened just slightly in surprise. “And you’re the one who had to come over and bother me in the first place! So why don’t you tell me what’s supposed to be done about it?” He was breathing hard, trying to control himself. “I told you, you wouldn’t understand, remember? Idiot.”

“Fine,” Inuyasha always hated being yelled at. He got up to leave.

“Sit.”

“That won’t work if you do it.” Inuyasha’s voice was a mix of sarcasm and resentment. It had a sobering effect on Miroku.

“No, it’s an invitation. Sit with me, and let’s not talk about this anymore, okay?”

“Fine.” Inuyasha returned to his spot behind Miroku. “It’s not like I can go back yet, anyway.”

“Mm,” Miroku responded, the hot water was beginning to make him feel sleepy, especially after his outburst, it felt like a bit too much blood had gone to his head. He let his head droop until it rested on Inuyasha’s knee.

“So what are we supposed to talk about now?” Inuyasha fidgeted slightly. Maybe he didn’t like being leaned on, Miroku pondered. Not that he intended to move or anything.

“I don’t care,” Miroku muttered sleepily.

Inuyasha was silent, watching the monk apprehensively. Miroku watched Inuyasha watching him through nearly closed eyes. It was a stalemate.

“So what you were saying before is, you don’t like girls?”

Miroku smiled, he couldn’t help himself. So that was what had disturbed Inuyasha. “Well, I mean I don’t have to,” he teased. Inuyasha stiffened.

“Is that so bad? You have less of an obligation then I do, I think.” Miroku trailed one finger down Inuyasha’s leg. Inuyasha was blushing furiously now, and Miroku had to admit that he’d had his fun. “Relax. It was a joke.”

“I never thought of you being this way,” Inuyasha muttered, half angry.

“I’m trying not to think about it myself.”

Inuyasha gave him a stunned look. “What are you talking about? You started it.” Inuyasha considered for a moment, then added carefully, “I think.” Miroku wondered if it was still possible that Inuyasha was practicing on him.

“You know, if I started looking at other men, you’d be first on the list,” Miroku’s voice was softened by his seriousness. His eyes met Inuyasha’s so the half-demon could realize just how serious he was. “And I don’t think that would go over too well.”

“Is that supposed to be a compliment? Because it’s really-”

“Simply the truth.” Inuyasha was beginning to look worried by the subject, “So shall we continue to think about this? Or we can just forget about it if it’s making you nervous.” Miroku lifted his head, breaking contact, but he couldn’t bring himself to break Inuyasha’s gaze somehow. “It’s your choice.”

“Just stay there. I don’t care.” Inuyasha caught Miroku and pressed his head back into its resting place on his leg. Miroku couldn’t help smiling at Inuyasha’s blush.

“Thank you.” Miroku felt strangely serene lying against Inuyasha. He was almost ready to drift off to sleep when Inuyasha spoke again.

“So I’d really be your first choice?”

“Of course,” Miroku assured him sleepily. Breathe in. Savor the musky smell of his companion. Breathe out. Sinking into the soft flesh of his thigh, protected by a curtain of hair . . . Inuyasha must be leaning over him again. Miroku opened his eyes. Inuyasha was studying him in silence.

“Would I be your first choice?”

“Only if I liked men,” Inuyasha answered uncertainly.

“And could you?” Miroku teased. He felt so comfortable around Inuyasha right now, more relaxed then he could remember feeling with anyone.

“That’s what I’m thinking about.”

Miroku was intrigued. “Have you ever wondered what it would be like?” He sat up a little, suddenly feeling cold and remembering he was entirely naked. “We could find out.”

“Bad idea.”

“It’s not like anyone would have to know about it. Just kiss. That’s all.”

“Then we’d both know, right.” Inuyasha was taking care justify what was about to happen. Miroku held his breath for a moment. How had he gotten into this situation? He nodded. Apprehension and fear and excitement were all coiled up inside of him in a writhing mess. He pushed himself up off of Inuyasha’s thigh, hesitated, then touched his mouth shyly to Inuyasha’s for a second. It was over before he even knew what Inuyasha tasted like. Wasn’t there something he’d heard before about the taste of a kiss?

“Did you feel anything?”

“Maybe we should try again?”

Inuyasha made a noise of agreement, and this time he was the one who initiated it. They touched lips again. Then he pulled back for the space of a breath before touching Miroku’s mouth again, this time more firmly, more sure of himself. They lingered, faces close, and Miroku felt a flash of happiness through his stomach.

“I liked that,” Miroku whispered, his voice shaking slightly as he admitted it.

“Mm,” Inuyasha was not yet ready to comment. He kissed Miroku again, this time more like he was capturing the mouth against his. Miroku opened his mouth, wanting to taste the kiss this time, and felt Inuyasha copy him. It brought the kiss to a different level. Miroku was drowning. Inuyasha tugged him closer forcefully. Clumsily, their mouths slid together, causing little shocks of joy the tremble along Miroku’s spine.

“I really liked that,” Miroku gasped, once he could breathe again.

“So you like men,” Inuyasha concluded.

“Well, I definitely like you.”

Inuyasha stiffened. “I think it’s safe to go back now. They must all be asleep.”

“Wait.” Miroku slipped as he tried to stand, almost dunking himself in the hot spring when Inuyasha turned away.

“Look, maybe I don’t like men.”

“Well, maybe I just want to sleep with someone before I die,” Miroku returned bitterly.

“Maybe you should find yourself a woman then.” The barely audible sound of Inuyasha’s retreating footsteps hurt Miroku’s ears in a way he hadn’t thought was possible.

“Maybe I’d rather it was you,” Miroku’s voice was a strained whisper, but he knew Inuyasha heard it. He had to.

Inuyasha’s soft, padding footsteps made their way back to the hot spring. Miroku could hear him removing his clothes. He wasn’t sure what to do now. Would Inuyasha be insulted if he looked? Would he be insulted if he didn’t look?

“Maybe I just want to take a bath.” Their eyes met. It was a ruse and they both knew it. Inuyasha kept up the pretense for a moment, rubbing his shoulders and chest as if bathing, then he pounced on Miroku in one swift motion.

“You just keep making me come back,” Inuyasha growled. Then his mouth was on Miroku’s again, their mutual enthusiasm making up for their lack of experience.

“I’m glad.” Miroku had a handful of Inuyasha’s wet hair, as they stumbled, splashing in the water. The spring was narrow, but deep, and they accidentally stepped into a spot so deep that they had to separate and scramble up for air. They climbed back into the shallow part together, soaked and laughing quietly.

“I like you,” Inuyasha leaned against Miroku, pressing him back until he sat down on the little shelf of rock again. Miroku had another pang of joy as Inuyasha kissed him.

“Um . . . I . . . ” After this whole evening, Miroku could barely believe he still had a confession to make. “Inuyasha, I’m . . .” He couldn’t say it. Inuyasha licked his lips, watching. Miroku found himself suddenly feeling hot all over, and he doubted it was from the water around him.

“Right here,” Miroku took one of Inuyasha’s hands and touched the fingertips lightly to his manhood, which had grown hard. Instead of jerking away as Miroku had expected, Inuyasha moved his hand lower, touching and exploring. Miroku could only gasp and grab on to him, his face burning red.

“I am too.” Inuyasha whispered against Miroku’s ear. After a few seconds of gathering his courage, Miroku reached out to give Inuyasha the same treatment. Inuyasha made a noise of surprise, gripping Miroku a bit harder then he had intended, making the monk moan in turn. He had never felt anything like this. Inuyasha’s inexperienced hand was covered in calluses from his sword, and the feeling of that rough hand on him made Miroku’s head swim.

“We should do something about this.” Miroku whispered, suddenly feeling very daring.

“Do you know how?” Inuyasha’s hand had moved lower, touching Miroku’s backside. His fingers found something that made Miroku shy away slightly. That was something else he’d never felt before, and he wasn’t sure he liked it as much.

“I go in here, right?” Inuyasha was watching Miroku’s face carefully, his fingers pressed up against the entrance, the tip of one finally slipping inside. Miroku gasped, squirming. He didn’t know if he should force the intruding finger out or spread his legs in welcome.

“What do you mean, you go in?” He asked to buy time.

“I’m on top here, because I know what I’m doing.” Miroku bit his lip as Inuyasha slid a second finger inside, pressing them deeper. Miroku didn’t believe him at all, but Inuyasha was at least used to taking charge.

“Just be gentle.” Miroku didn’t care if Inuyasha thought worse of him for saying it. “I haven’t done this before.” Inuyasha’s other hand slid between his legs, stroking him and relieving his worries in a rush of pleasure that made him tilt his head back, moaning.

“Okay.” Inuyasha turned them around so that he was sitting on the ledge with Miroku on his lap. He lifted Miroku and then slowly began to let him down again, fingers spreading Miroku’s cheeks so that he could slip inside.

“Ah,” Miroku gasped as he caught Inuyasha’s shoulders. “Wait.” That hurt! Touching and kissing had been fine, but this was not good. Inuyasha’s hips shifted upward slightly, but he tried to hold Miroku still. Even though only the very tip of Inuyasha’s erection was inside it was enough that Miroku didn’t want to find out what the whole thing would feel like.

Slowly, Miroku lowered himself onto Inuyasha’s lap. By the time he got there he was trembling. He was barely aroused anymore, and clung to Inuyasha’s shoulders as he tried to relax. He felt as though something had split inside of him, and sure enough the water around him was beginning to stain pink.

“Why do you have to be so huge?” he hissed.

“It’s your fault I’m this horny in the first place.”

Nevertheless, Inuyasha reached down to squeeze Miroku’s erection. He stroked it forcefully, his mouth catching Miroku’s and kissing him until the pain began lessen to in the face of his pleasure. 

“You have to move in this position, Miroku.”

Miroku shook his head, hanging on to Inuyasha. He could feel from the way Inuyasha was moving under him that he wanted more, but he knew better than to do something when he would just be hurting himself.

“Damn it.” Inuyasha picked him up, and managed to drag them both up to stumble out of the water, with Miroku on his back in the dirt. He wrapped his legs around Inuyasha, trembling as he anticipated what would come next. Inuyasha used his hands to soothe Miroku before pressing forward.

Inuyasha began to thrust, falling into a rhythm that soon had them both gasping in tempo. What had hurt so much before was now making Miroku feel like the world was spinning out of control around him. Inuyasha was hitting a place inside of him that made it so he had to struggle to bite back his cries.

It wasn’t long before he felt himself surging upward, letting go of himself and sobbing out Inuyasha’s name as he came. Several thrusts later Inuyasha followed him, bitting his own mouth to be sure that no name escaped him.

They lay there together for a few moments afterwards, collecting themselves. Miroku savored the feeling of Inuyasha curled around him until the chill of the night air sent them back into the spring, shivering, to wash off.

“Were you . . . ?”

“It was good.”

“Want to again sometime?” Miroku’s fingers caught a stray lock of Inuyasha’s hair from where it floated on top of the water and kissed it, feeling hopeful.

“I don’t think I really like guys.” That hurt. Fine, just dump your poor, abused uke. Insensitive bastard. Miroku certainly wasn’t going to bring it up again if Inuyasha was going to act like a. . .

“I like you, though,” Inuyasha added. Miroku looked up, and found himself pulled into Inuyasha’s arms. He was safe there for only a few perfect seconds, but the feeling that hug gave him seemed to echo somewhere inside of him even after Inuyasha had dressed and left.

Miroku finally drew himself out of the steaming water and dressed with shaking hands. His backside hurt, but his heart was overflowing. Breathe in. Bury the feeling. Don’t give it away. Don’t let it escape. Breathe out. Ignore the pain.

Breathe in. Taste the night. Breathe out . . . 

“Inuyasha.”


End file.
